Tone – 28 Laundry
Life on the big road ain't easy...
Bassist Mo Foster told a tale of meeting his professional idol Jaco Pastorius in a hotel lobby, where both were checking in on their respective tours. Jaco’s work had inspired Mo’s switch to fretless, and he said ruefully of the encounter that all they talked about was laundry. Any touring artist will tell you about the challenges of keeping smelliness at bay. Jennifer Batten says she paid more than she paid for a jacket to have it express-cleaned in Paris, and the big crew scramble on bus tours when the tour manager organised a same day launderette service via the runner was a sight to see: bags of stage blacks suddenly formed a small mountain range backstage venting noxious gases like a geological fault.
There are rare venues where resident washing machines were run overheating from their early morning discovery at bus arrival until after the lighting crew teardown. Some are laid on in small theaters, ostensibly for the wardrobe department, but generously loaned to niffy artists. Time pressures on the road mean that tumble dryers are run flat out, so those who know this is going to happen buy new cotton t-shirts or sweats one or two sizes larger than they really need on the basis they’ll be a tight fit after their first road wash. Tech fabrics aren’t immune, and nylon shirts that seemed a good idea for stage will soon wrinkle incurably and fail inspection at a meet’n’greet. Indeed, that I wanted to meet people who’d come to my show was most of my problem if I felt grubby. Perhaps there should be warnings : “Danger! Smelly road dog. Maintain social distancing. Do not hug”.
